Red Moon

The worst part about the occasional 'what if I am pregnant' thought (not that I have ever had sex, but we must NEVER rule out immaculate conception), is the same thought that harrows every person ever to have watched Eastenders circa Natalie Cassidy resembling the love-child of Mr. Blobby and a Pygmy Hippo. The greatest fear that you're secretly pregnant and will basically end up giving birth on the loo, a la Sonia.

I can just imagine this bastard baby hanging from the umbilical chord, flapping in and out of the toilet water. It scares me to death, so much so I now have to use the bathroom to reassure myself it will not happen.